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  • We WIN Through Effective Conversations – Part 3

We WIN Through Effective Conversations – Part 3

We have facilitated a thematic discussion on the essential quality of having difficult conversations as an integral part of navigating effective leadership.  Regardless of the context of your leadership or relationship, the ability to strategically facilitate difficult conversations is critical to the success of the ministry, organization, family, or relationship.  When strategically coupled with love and tactical intentionality, hard conversations can be powerful tools that position us toward success.  We WIN through effective conversations!

The Bible admonishes us in Proverbs 4:23 to “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life”. The tone of the conversation and the method by which you implement it not only bespeak your grace as a leader, but also the condition of your heart.  A conversation delivered from a place of pure intention and centered on resolution will yield effective results.  Conversely, a conversation presented from a place of impurity and disingenuous motives will yield messy and convoluted results.  In our previous discussions we amplified Barriers to Having Hard Conversations and the Benefits of Having Hard Conversations.  In our third and final discussion on hard conversations we will cover Guidelines for Having Hard Conversations as a function of the condition of the leader’s heart. 


  1. Leadership Heart Guidelines For Having Hard Conversations:
    1. Guard Your HeartAs a leader you cannot avoid mess. You will have to deal with messy situations.  How you do so determines your grace as a leader. So how do I deal with guarding my heart as a leader? When there is an issue with a septic tank, the person assigned to resolve the issue must protect themselves before attempting to fix it.  Septic tanks are messy, toxic, and smell horrifically.  The worker assigned to correct the issue with the tank must first put on a protective suit to properly protect himself from the mess of the septic tank.  As leaders we can’t ignore issues within our organization because they are messy.  As a leader you can expect that you will have to deal with mess.  Moreover, failure to do so will result in a stench akin to a septic tank permeating the whole of your organization.  As discussed previously, ignoring the problem does not eliminate it.  Though tasked with dealing with the messy issues involved in leading others, you also have a protective suit that you can put on to insulate you from it.  
      1. Commune with God Daily: From a spiritual perspective your daily communion with God is your protection. The danger of failing to do so is that you can expose your heart to mess. One of the worst places to be as a leader is when your heart has become polluted with mess because you failed to protect yourself.  When you get to the point and place where you are no longer the septic tank cleaner, but you have now become the septic tank, you know you are in trouble.  No one wants to be around a smelly stinking leader in the same way that no one wants to be around a septic tank.  Your leadership capital is tainted in the sight of those who follow you and those around you when you are dubbed as messy and toxic. Make sure that you are the Septic Tank Cleaner and not the Septic Tank itself. 
      2. Delight Continually in the Word of God: John 17:17 says, “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth”.  Paul talks about the “washing of the word” in Ephesians 5:26.  Something about continually submitting yourself to the truth of God’s Word cleanses us.  The word insulates us and cleanses us from the pollutants of the world.  We must continue to submit ourselves to it in order for us to be properly protected from the messy components of leadership. 
  • Detox by Confessing to God: There are moments when we as leaders have been contaminated or infested with stuff. Perhaps we have had some back office conversations or water cooler conversations that we should not have had.  When that happens deal with it by way of confession to God and He will cleanse you.   
  1. Gauge Your HeartPsalm 139: 23-24 says, “Search me and know my heart”. In other words get connected to Heaven’s MRI and be examined.  Don’t allow people to get impressed with your exterior and your insides are a mess.  In the natural when you go in for a physical the medical staff will take you through a battery of tests.  They utilize a tongue depressor to check your mouth to ascertain many illnesses in the body.  The condition of your mouth can reveal disease in the body.  A chalky tongue can indicate a problem.  They also check your ears and determine if you have buildup in your ears or if anything is impeding your ability to hear.  One of the most important tests that they will run is the EKG to determine the health of your heart.  The heart is of utmost value.  You can survive without many things to include, eyes, limbs, etc., but if your heart goes out you are in trouble.  A person is pronounced dead when their heart stops beating. What is the condition of your heart? 
    We must constantly be in a state where we gauge the condition of our heart and ensure that it is healthy.  We must guard it from all that would be detrimental to its health because everything springs forth from the heart.   
  2. Have A Guilt Free Heart When I have had honest hard and heart conversations then I am able to have a guilt free heart. When you can see the person that you’ve had the conversation with and you know your motives were right you are able to move forward guilt free.  I followed the protocols as outlined in scripture, therefore my heart is guilt free. 

Hard conversations are a part of our daily lives.  Knowing how to navigate those conversations and how to effectively implement them can be the difference between success and failure.  I challenge you that no matter the context of your leadership be courageous enough to have needful conversations regardless of how uncomfortable they may be.  The WIN experienced from the fruit of the conversation is well worth the temporary discomfort of having to have it. 

Let’s WIN together!

Read 738 times Last modified on Monday, 31 July 2017 06:40

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  • Sandra Fletcher posted by Sandra Fletcher Thursday, 03 August 2017 16:24

    Hard conversations are apart of everyday life. Last night we talked about the importance of being Swift to hear, Slow to to speak, and Slow to anger. The Bible teaches us that the tongue is unruly and in it lies the power of life and death. It is so vital to spend time with the Lord when we wake up, it's not a guarantee that we won't face any challenges but like Pastor's blog says God's word insulates us from all the pollution in this worl d?

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  • Katherine Morrison posted by Katherine Morrison Monday, 31 July 2017 22:45

    Hard conversations are a part of our daily lives. Knowing how to navigate those conversations and how to effectively implement them can be the difference between success and failure. I totally agree with this statement. Thank you!

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  • Kaira posted by Kaira Monday, 31 July 2017 09:23

    Indeed I need these blogs to start my week off right. Thank you, Pastor.

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